Mindset Sets You Apart
The Mindset That Sets Students Apart (No Test-Prep Required)
by Lisa Conselatore, M.Ed., M.A.
Families often focus on the “test prep” piece of the TJHSST admissions process—practice questions, strategy sheets, and test-taking tips. And while those things can help, they’re not what truly sets a student apart.
After 25+ years teaching advanced learners in the U.S. and abroad, and watching hundreds of students apply to selective programs like TJHSST, here’s the truth:
The students who succeed aren’t the ones who cram.
They’re the ones who think.
And that kind of thinking doesn’t come from last-minute studying.
It comes from a mindset—one built long before test day.
Let’s talk about that mindset, because it’s the secret ingredient most families overlook.
1. Curiosity Over Cramming
Selective programs aren’t looking for students who memorize facts.
They’re looking for students who wonder about the world.
The most successful applicants:
ask “Why?” instead of “What’s the answer?”
poke around in ideas
notice patterns
follow rabbit holes
get excited about learning something new
You can’t cram curiosity the night before.
But you can nurture it at home by encouraging questions, exploration, and real conversations that go beyond the worksheet.
2. Problem-Solving Instead of Perfection
Programs like TJ want thinkers—not perfect students.
The mindset that works:
Try first.
Adjust next.
Learn always.
Students who assume every problem has one tidy, perfect answer often freeze on test day.
Students who are used to messy problem-solving find the process exciting—like a puzzle, not a performance.
Help your child practice:
explaining their thinking
trying different approaches
valuing the process, not the outcome
This builds resilience and confidence—two skills far more important than speed.
3. Initiative Instead of Instructions
Selective programs want students who take charge of their learning.
That might look like:
starting a project without being told
researching something they’re curious about
organizing their own work
teaching themselves a skill (coding, piano, photography—anything)
asking thoughtful questions
Initiative doesn’t show up on a resume.
But it shines during the admissions process—especially in the Student Portrait Sheet, where students explain who they are as learners.
4. Authentic Interests Instead of Manufactured Achievements
You cannot fake passion.
And admissions committees can spot manufactured “activities” a mile away.
Here’s what they’re actually looking for:
What does your child do when no one tells them to?
What topics light them up?
What do they return to again and again?
What problems do they want to solve?
A student who genuinely loves robotics, storytelling, chemistry, manga analysis, or astrophysics is far more compelling than a student with ten unrelated bullet points.
Authenticity beats padding every time.
5. Reflection Instead of Rehearsed Answers
This is the mindset that changes everything.
Selective admissions programs don’t want students who memorize answers.
They want students who can:
reflect
articulate their experiences
connect their learning to real life
explain what they gained, not just what they did
This is why I tell families all the time:
The ability to reflect is the most underrated academic skill.
And it’s the one that will help your child far beyond admissions.
At home, try asking:
“What was most interesting about what you learned today?”
“What challenged you?”
“What would you try differently next time?”
Reflection builds maturity, self-awareness, and intellectual depth—all the things selective programs crave.
6. Confidence Without Arrogance
Confidence doesn’t mean thinking you’re smarter than everyone else.
Confidence means believing you can learn anything with effort.
This quiet inner assurance helps students stay calm, focused, and flexible on test day.
Confidence is built through:
small wins
solving problems on their own
failing safely
trying again
seeing their own growth
Confidence is a mindset—not a personality trait.
So… does test prep matter at all?
Yes—but only after the mindset is there.
Test prep should support a strong learner, not substitute for one.
And here’s the good news:
Every child can build this mindset.
Some naturally have it.
Others grow into it with the right support.
Selective admissions don’t require a genius.
They require readiness.
And readiness is teachable.
If you want structured guidance, start here:
I wrote How to Get Into THAT School (2nd Edition) to help families cut through the noise and understand what selective programs really look for.
It explains, in clear student-friendly language:
what TJHSST actually values
how to build this mindset over time
how to reflect in meaningful ways
how to talk about leadership, curiosity, and collaboration
how to grow the habits of mind selective schools prize most
It’s practical, encouraging, and based on decades of working with high-ability learners.
Download it here:
How to Get Into THAT School (2nd Edition) — Parent & Student Guide
If your child dreams big, this guide helps them get ready—with confidence and clarity.
